Dead Silence

Dead Silence
Starring: Ryan Kwanten, Donnie Wahlberg, Amber Valletta, Bob Gunton
Directed by: James Wan

Style: Supernatural Killer
Blood and Guts: 3
Fright Factor: 2
Laugh Factor: 1
Weapons of choice: Ripping out tongues
Overall rating: 1 out of 5

Dolls are creepy. They look like people and have the horrible habit of coming to life and trying to murder us, skittering about like rats and occasionally giggling just to drive us up the wall. In the town of Ravens Fair, there used to be an old woman named Mary Shaw. She was a ventriloquist who was murdered by an angry mob over a boy disappearance. Now, her ghost inhabits her collection of puppets, and if you scream, she tears out your tongue and kills you. Now, Jamie (Kwanten) must find a way to stop her before everyone in the town ends up dead.

This movie should have been better. It had all the makings of a direct-to-DVD movie with a kick to it, with some decent actors, a creepy premise, and decent production values. However, everything goes out the window because the director doesn't know how to work with an art department. The entire film feels like it was run through the Sharpen feature on Photoshop, giving everything a little too much edge and distinction to it. Also, the color palate is way out of whack, with entire scenes drenched in blue filters and then cleared with wipes. The director of photography would go on to be the DP for I Know Who Killed Me, to give you an idea of the look to the film. The best horror films let subtle things creep into the audience's subconscious, allowing them to scare themselves before flipping the switch to make us all jump. This film climbs into a Mack truck, runs everyone down, then points at them while screaming, "Scary, huh?!"

The actors try their hardest to be good, but the director keeps avoiding the performances, instead choosing to focus on atmosphere and effects, leaving the audience with no reason to care about anything that is happening. There is a moment or two of general creepiness when we can see the evil spirit behind the doll, peering out with maniacal glee. Again, these moments are quickly rushed away to allow for chases and manic energy rather than creeping dread.

This film should be used in film classes as an example of how to take something good and instead focus on something crappy. You may get a thrill from this movie if your idea of horror is living dolls. Otherwise, the only thing besides the film that will be blue is you, realizing you actually paid to see this thing.

Fido

Fido
Starring: Carrie-Anne Moss, Billy Connolly, Dylan Baker, K'Sun Ray
Directed by: Andrew Currie

Style: Zombie Comedy
Blood and Guts: 3
Fright Factor: 2
Laugh Factor: 3
Weapons of choice: Biting
Overall rating: 4 out of 5

Zombies are a plague upon the earth. All they long to do is feast upon the living and shamble about, moaning and decomposing. However, what if we could find a way to keep zombies from wanting to eat us and instead make them do our every wish? That would be ideal, right? There is no possible way that could backfire.

In Fido, radiation from space has caused the dead to rise from the grave in the 1950s/ Luckily, a company called Zomcom has found a way to collar the dead, thereby turning them into a harmless batch of slaves for humanity to exploit. Timmy (Ray) comes home to find his mother has bought the family a zombie which he names Fido (Connolly). However, Fido's collar isn't quite right, and soon he is killing those who threaten Timmy. As the bodies pile up, Timmy can't let Fido be found out, as Zomcom will destroy him, and gosh darn it, the killing isn't his fault.

Fido works on several levels. Firstly, you have a great zombie comedy that pokes a bit of fun at the typical zombie scenarios while combining them with old screwball comedies of errors. Second, you have the social satire aspect which is hinted at more than being overt, allowing the comedy to play out as it would rather than being bogged down by "symbolism" and "meaning." Finally, you have a great family movie that happens to involve a zombie and people beaing eaten alive.

Connolly makes this movie. His expressiveness as Fido allows for all of the scenes to have depth to them, and that investment into the characters is what stands out in this film. It's not your typical zombie comedy where it just makes fun of the stereotypes but never really has much substance to it. Following in the tradition of Romero's zombies, the film isn't a zombie movie. It is a social satire that happens to have zombies in it. Even better, the movie is fun, which is more than can be said about a lot of comedies recently.

At the end of the day, this film is not groundbreaking, nor is it the best movie you will see this year. However, it does deliver on its intended promise of entertainment with just a hint of social commentary to stick in the back of your head. If you are in the mood for something different, this could be what you didn't evn know you were looking for.

I Know Who Killed Me

I Know Who Killed Me
Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough, Brian Geraghty
Directed by: Chris Sivertson

Style: Cryptic Kidnapping
Blood and Guts: 4
Fright Factor: 2
Laugh Factor: 1
Weapons of choice: Dry ice, glass knives
Overall rating: 1 out of 5

New Salem is being terrorized by a brutal serial killer who abducts and tortures young women, holding them captive for weeks before murdering them. Aubrey Fleming (Lohan), an aspiring writer, becomes his latest victim when she disappears without a trace during a night out with her friends. Days later, she shows up missing an arm and leg, having apparently escaped the clutches of the killer. However, she has no memory of her life, insisting that she is Dakota, a stripper who came to town after he hand mysteriously started disintegrating. Now, the FBI and family try to make sense of it all while Dakota/Aubrey continues to have nightmares that the killer isn't finished with her yet.

My main problem with this film is that it looks and feels like it was made to be this cryptic puzzler of the horror movie, keeping the audience in the dark as the tale unravels a bit at a time. Instead, the movie is so overt with its metaphor and symbolism that half the time it feels like you aren't even watching a story but a representation of a story. Lohan is decent, but the script never really sets any pace that can drive the film. There are too many facts being tossed around in the hopes of keeping the audience guessing. Instead, I just stopped caring what was happening. The ending appeared obvious, but I was wrong. That is, until I found out that the original ending had been that, but test audiences said it was too predictable, so the film chopped off the real ending. As a result, we get another horror film that just ends suddenly with several unresolved issues.

Horror movies also need to come to the realization that they either have to run in the land of realism or push the fantasy they are creating. If you try to throw a fantastical concept into a film pushing itself as reality, the audience scoffs at you. Without giving away the plot, I am referring to how Dakota / Aubrey loses her hand. Also, never introduce a robotic arm and leg unless you think you are being funny or know how to maintain tone. This movie does not.

Another unfortunate consequence of the director thinking he is the next Fincher or Lynch is the very overt use of red and blue throughout the entire film. Every scene has several objects almost glowing by the mere fact that everything else is so drably colored. The audience in my showing started calling out "Red" and "Blue" to mark just how much it was happening.

This movie is bad. It has potential, but the director and screenwriter do not have the talent to make anything of this very sloppy movie. Surprisingly, I don't blame Lohan for anything other than wanting to be more of an adult actor, so she chose the stripper movie. It's destined to be reshown at many late night crap fests for years to come.

Open Water 2: Adrift

Open Water 2: Adrift
Starring: Susan May Pratt, Richard Speight, Jr., Niklaus Lange, Ali Hillis
Directed by: Hans Horn

Style: Survival Horror
Blood and Guts: 1
Fright Factor: 3
Laugh Factor: 0
Weapons of choice: The ocean
Overall rating: 3 out of 5

A group of high school friends now grown up decide to spend a day out on the ocean courtesy of the yacht owned by their friend Dan. He brings a new girlfriend Michelle, while Amy brings her husband James and their new baby. Amy also conveniently brings her fear of the ocean, which she has had since her father drowned when she was a child. While out on the boat, everyone goes swimming except Amy. Dan decided to help her get over her fear of the ocean by pulling her into the water. The only problem is this leaves nobody on the yacht except a baby, and nobody thought to deploy the ladder.

The strength of the story lies in the fact that safety is always just out of reach. None of the characters can get high enough to pull themselves back on board, and a series of schemes each fall short. In fact, the movie gets quite a bit of drama out of people floating through the ocean. Each of the actors show quite a bit of range as they turn on each other. However, it feels as if the friends start panicking too early, probably in part to condense the story. They are barely in the water an hour when they act like they are on the verge of murdering each other. This is an instance of being larger than life is overdone. It's jarring in the film, and once they have reached that level of fear, there isn't much farther that the film can go. The film's best moments are when the characters aren't afraid but are taking turns emotionally breaking each other down because it is the only way to deal with the fear.

Also, for those looking for a film like the first Open Water, there is very little similarity other than it is about people trapped in the water. Whereas Open Water was about surviving against the ocean itself, Adrift is more about surviving the fear the ocean inflicts upon us. The title Open Water 2 is used more to link it in the audience's mind. It was probably a separate film before the marketing department got a hold of it.

Finally, there is the ending. I don't want to spoil anything, so I won't speak of the specifics. However, I really have a problem with films that abandon all the work it has done up until that point just to try and throw ambiguity into the mix. Clearly, the director wanted to spark debate, but it doesn't come off as a clever or smart choice. Instead, you have an ending that will have people griping about how the story remains unfinished. You can be ambiguous if the story is finished being told, but this is not the case for Adrift.

Adrift has some good moments of drama and character interaction. There are hints that this film could have been good. However, as the director's first big film, his inexperience in storytelling shows, and the film cannot hold itself together no matter how hard the actors work. This movie is probably good for a lazy Saturday afternoon, when you might be able to overlook its failings to appreciate the drama it contains.

Lake Placid

Lake Placid
Starring: Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt, Brendan Gleeson
Directed by: Steve Miner

Style: Creature Feature
Blood and Guts: 2
Fright Factor: 2
Laugh Factor: 3
Weapons of choice: Firearms, biting
Overall rating: 3 out of 5

Lake houses are generally seen as peaceful places, especially if your lake is called Placid. However, if people suddenly start disappearing or showing up in pieces, that is usually a good sign to move to a city where all you have are lunatics and not giant savage beasts.

Alas, someone has to deal with those creatures once you are gone. That someone is Fish and Game officer Jack Wells (Pullman), sheriff Hank Keough (Gleeson), and paleontologist Kelly Scott (Fonda). Together they must find a way to deal with the giant crocodile, as neither lake nor land are safe from this hunter.

Overall, this film falls on the favorable side of the comedic horror line. There is enough of the bickering between the different leads and with an eccentric crocophile played by Oliver Platt to keep the movie clipping along. As for the horror aspect, there are never any truly suspenseful moments, but the movie can be forgiven for that as nothing ever feels really weak or out of place. The creature effects add a sense of realism to the movie, as the CGI blend they are using isn't half-bad. All too often a movie like this will put together a junk creature with bad special effects, but this film managed to get it right.

As for the violence, the film barely squeezed on an R rating. yes, there are a few mutilations, but most of it feels like something you would see on a late night movie on TV with a few extra seconds of gore added to tip the scales. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but the movie also doesn't have the suspense factor to back it up. All of the tense sequences feel tired, with other films doing it better.

It is hard to fault a film like this, as it delivers exactly what it promises up front: a well-paced, fun adventure with a giant killer crocodile. The reason this film isn't better is mostly because to never achieves anything beyond that good time. A movie like this that can provide a great time is what makes something into a cult classic. As it stands, Lake Placid doesn't have the snappy script or originality necessary to be one of those movies that everyone tells their friends about. It's fun, but don't expect much else.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon
Starring: Nathan Baesel, Robert Englund, Angela Goethals, Kate Lang Johnson
Directed by: Scott Glosserman

Style: Mockumentary Slasher
Blood and Guts: 3
Fright Factor: 2
Laugh Factor: 3
Weapons of choice: All sorts of pointy things
Overall rating: 5 out of 5

Everyone has a dream growing up. Some of us want to be astronauts. Some of us want to cure cancer. But for Leslie Vernon (Baesel), he wants to be remembered as the next great serial killer. He enlists the help of a college documentary crew to record the preparation for his rise as a serial killer, and even allows them to attend his night of carnage. However, lead reporter Taylor (Goethals) doesn't want to stand by while people die. Can she stop Leslie's quest for infamy, or will she be just another tally on his knife handle?

Every once in a while, a horror movie comes along that truly understands the horror movie experience. It understands that audiences usually have seen a number of the slasher films and have high expectations and standards for what constitutes a scary film. In this case, the film is about what goes into being the perfect horror villain. The first half of the movie is all about preparation and setting the stage for the night of carnage, and the film goes so far as to acknowledge its roots outright.

The selling point of this film is Nathan Baesel. He brings charisma and enough sly humor to the character that we overlook the fact that he is brutally murdering people. We sympathize with his quest for perfection, even if it is slaughter. There is one moment where Leslie is sitting in the dark waiting to begin, and he is so overjoyed that his plan is about to become reality. The humanity of that moment is heartfelt and genuine, and it is such a rarity among the horror genre.

The second half of the movie plays out the way any other slasher film would, except because we have such an attachment to both the killer and the film crew, their conflict carries us through to the end. We've already been told what will happen, and so when the crew interferes and changes the game plan, we are surprised anew. Even if those surprises still follow the clichè, they feel new to us because we have been guided the entire way.

Everything about this film shows much planning and forethought, as well as an understanding of how horror films function, and the result is one of the best horror films to come around in a few years.

1408

1408
Starring: John Cusack
Directed by: Mikael Håfström

Style: Supernatural Thriller
Blood and Guts: 1
Fright Factor: 2
Laugh Factor: 0
Weapons of choice: Psychological Warfare
Overall rating: 3 out of 5

Mike Enslin (Cusack) wishes he could see dead people. After losing his daughter, he becomes obsessed with exploring the most haunted locations he can find. After a night stay, he writes up each in his own sort of Zagat's Guide to Haunted Places. One day, he hears about room 1408 at the Dolphin Hotel. The staff doesn't want him to stay, as many people have died or been driven insane by the room. Thinking it a ploy, he badgers them into letting him stay. Once there though, he realizes that it is far worse than anyone could warn him of.

based upon a Stephen King short story, 1408 is an exercise in classic horror. All of the frights are built out of variations of nightmares and phobias as the room tries to drive Enslin over the edge. Add to that a clock radio that spontaneously plays The Carpenters "We've Only Just Begun" and you have genuine creepy environment.

However, part of the weakness of this film is that it tells you from the beginning that all of the inhabitants are driven mad, and any deaths are self-inflicted. Therefore, Enslin's only real danger is himself. All the apparitions, while creepy, can never go beyond being a thrill into a deeper sense of horror as they have no physical power over Enslin based on the rules of the game that the movie sets up.

Also, none of the nightmares are ever repeated, so there is very little build-up between the scares, so the audience never really reaches a level of true fright. Something eerie happens, you hit the pay-off moment, and then all the tension is lost because something else is being built. Unlike other horror films, where the sense of danger is mostly constant even if we are not quite sure the source, 1408 plays out like a series of mini-horror films, a kind of textbook of horror films if you will. Each different scare shows a different horror technique, a sort of How To for any type of scene, but then it moves on to another one without any sort of tension carried over.

The acting is great, as I genuinely believed the character's terror and subsequent emotional stress with dealing with the death of his daughter, and I though the film was very effective with being creepy without using any on-screen violence other than occasional shots of characters hung or leaping to their death. The style is there for making this a great film, which I think part of what makes it so frustrating that it doesn't live up to the talent involved.

Ultimately, this film is interesting to watch but never gets beyond mediocre because it never connects the dots. A horror movie needs to grab the audience and drag them kicking and screaming through the movie, and this never does.

They

THEY
Starring: Laura Regan, Marc Blucas, Ethan Embry, Dagmara Dominczyk
Directed by: Robert Harmon

Style: Boogeyman-style horror
Blood and Guts: 1
Fright Factor: 2
Laugh Factor: 1
Weapons of choice: Light, darkness
Overall rating: 2 out of 5

Julie Lund (Regan) had it rough as a kid. Nightmares of shadow creatures plagued her and her friend Billy (Jon Abrahams) growing up, but now, on the verge of achieving her Masters in Psychology, all of that appears to be behind her. That is, until Billy shows up and convinces her that their nightmares were real as kids. Even worse, those creatures marked them as children and are now coming for them once more. Together with two of Billy's friends (Embry and Dominczyk), Julie fights to find out how to escape these creatures when all darkness leads to their world.

The premise of this film is great, which makes it that much more of a shame that it was hacked to pieces by the studio. Any time ten different writers work on a movie, you know there is trouble. For me, that is my biggest complaint about the film: inconsistency. The story never seems to be able to figure out what it wants to be and thus never really makes a consistent style choice. In fact, towards the end of the film, the film even breaks its primary convention by having the creatures attack someone in a well-lit, undarkened room. For me, that is unforgivable.

There are a few good moments in the film, such as when Julie is stalked through the subway tunnels, but they never build off of one another. A movie that feeds off of the characters being placed in threatening situations needs to have each situation more intense, however slightly, than the previous event. Otherwise, you have a series of small scares with no big payoff because the audience can predict that nothing will get any scarier.

Another weak point of this film is that they waste their supporting cast. If you have a film where there are really only four characters of any interest, those characters really need to be developed and respected until their untimely end, which is part of what builds the momentum of a fright flick. However, this film acts like the supporting characters are no better than the random party guy who wanders off and is the warm-up victim for the killer. Nothing is accomplished other than you get a scene that is tense but doesn't scare us because we don't care about a character the movie doesn't care about.

Overall, this film needed those making it to care about its story and its character more. Instead, it is chopped up and dumped onto the market in the hopes for a quick buck. It's too bad, because this film really did have promise.